May 18, 2004

This is a letter in response to the one against Arlen Specter, posted on May 17.

Specter is merely supporting his fellow Senator because they are both members of the same party. But other than that, they are very very different politicians. Arlen Specter is one of the most liberal Republicans in the Senate, and he has repeatedly sided with us liberals against right-wing religious zealotry in government. In fact, the right is so angry at Arlen that Pat Toomey, a right-wing Congressman from the Pittsburgh area, nearly defeated Specter in the Republican primary, with the incumbent eking out a 51-49 victory. Specter was endorsed by both Bush and Santorum in the primary, but should not be associated with either. It was merely a professional courtesy; Toomey was much much closer to Bush and Santorum. It's unfortunate that Specter is coming up for reelection this year instead of Santorum, as I would really really like to see the latter gone. Please do not associate Specter with horrible sex acts. There are many others to choose from, like our friend James "I'm outraged at the outrage over the prison abuse...these prisoners, they're murderers, terrorists, insurgents" Inhofe of Oklahoma.

Sincerely,

Parag Bhayani

"Santorum is Latin for 'asshole.'" -- Bob Kerrey

No sexual meaning will be attached to Spector's name if I can help it, PB. Like I said, Santorum/santorum is the only redefinition campaign that I'm going to launch. If someone else wants to have a whack at Spector, they're welcome to try. But this attaching-a-sexual-meaning-to-an-asshole-Senator's-name stuff is harder work than it appears to be.

May 17, 2004

Dear Dan,

As a philologist of sorts, I was intrigued by your recent revival of an old Latin term for the by now familiar frothy agglomeration. While "Santorum" is an excellent word, it is a sad reminder of the state of the English language when opaque latinate lexica eclipse our solid Germanic root stock. After all, there is nothing wrong with the fine old Anglo-Saxon "buttbutter," the rustic charm of which evokes the scents and sensibilities of a stolid British grammar school. As regards this particular trope, English is fairly typical of Western European languages; witness the German cognate, "Arschbutter," or the French "beurre anal." Spanish, however, is an interesting exception. The term "Alsaon," like so many Spanish words that have survived since the end of the Moorish occupation, is derived from a Maghrebi-Berber term, which is in turn a corruption of a Latin loan word, none other than "Santorum"!

Yours in erudition,

Alex L

Dear Alex:

We've already covered this topic on spreadingsantorum.com. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex is disgusting enough without giving it a name that implies it is something a person should spread on toast and eat. "Butter" in the context of this particularly frothy mix invites unwelcome mental images. If "buttbutter" was a term applied to the frothy mix before my readers decided to name it after Sen. Rick Santorum, it wasn't in wide usage-probably because it associates santorum with a food product. To conclude, buttbutter is dead. Long live santorum!

Hi Dan.

The other day my partner and I were watching a BBC documentary with friends we're visiting here in New Zealand. The subject of the documentary was "The Silver Ring Thing", the absurd abstinence-only group. Anyway, someone on the program mentioned that Rick Santorum was an advocate of this particular abstinence group. Well, just hearing his name made us laugh and laugh. Our Kiwi friends wanted to know what was so funny. We explained the frothy mix to them - and now santorum is being spread all over Down Under!

Spreading Santorum on Holiday

Dear SSOH:

Thanks for doing your part!

Hey Dan,

Just thought you should see this. Arlen Specter, the other GOP Senator from Pennsylvania, has said he would support Sen. Froth Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter "for any future leadership race "anything, including president."

President Lube 'n' Shit? Frightening.

Here's the link:

www.hoeffelforsenate.com

It's on the website of Joe Hoeffel, the Dem challenging Specter.

Remember that prick you chewed out for hiding under his roommate's bed while the "total stud" is fucking and then reaching up and grabbing the girl? Maybe we call the practice of hiding, watching, and groping "Spectering."

Against Santorum and Specter

Dear ASAS:

I get letters every day nominating other disgusting politicians for the santorum treatment. I'm afraid I'm going to decline your invitation, as I've declined all the others. The success of "santorum" is, I think, unique. I don't think I could get lightening to strike again. And, my God, there's an endless stream of awful, sexphobic, right-wing nutcases out there-if we keep naming sex acts and byproducts after them, ASAS, we will eventually reach a stage where we can't have sex without reading off the names of half the Republicans in the country. And that, my friend, will make sexphobes of us all.

May 10, 2004

I take exception to mk eagle' s letter. Dan, you made it into the Ivy League a long time ago...

Once upon a time (I believe it was late August) you published a letter in Savage Love from a "Doctoral Student of communication at an Ivy League University" who URGED you "not to let Santorum fade." History (and Google) tells the tale of how successful that advice was.

Dan, I am that selfsame doctoral student, and I say "Great Job." Santorum has spread to the four corners of the globe. And as a Philadelphia resident, and constituent of the senator, I can say that it has done nothing to improve his image here at home. I've even garnered some personal fame. When I met Henry Rollins this past winter (he's a friend of a friend), he recognized me at "Santorum Peef". Odd times.

Dan, don't let the magic stop. You've managed not only to change the language, but you've inched public opinion ever so slightly in a better direction. Together, we CAN paint this town brown.

Philly Peef

Dear PP:

Thanks for keeping in touch and I'm sure everyone who reads spreadingsantorum.com regularly would, if they could, thank you personally for inspiring first the Santorum/santorum contest and, consequenly, this website.

Give my regards to Mr. Rollins.

This article was sent to you from: A friend in D.C.

Santorum Jeered at Graduation

May 10, 2004

THORNBURY | U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum was greeted with boos, jeers and turned backs Saturday while giving a commencement speech at Cheyney University, an historically black college, a newspaper reported.

''I know my selection as commencement speaker was not met with unanimous approval,'' Santorum said, according to the Daily Local News of West Chester.

While most of the master's degree candidates remained seated during Santorum's speech, more than half of the graduating undergraduates stood and faced away from the senator in silent protest, the paper reported. A scattering of audience members also joined the protest.

Santorum admitted that a conservative Republican might not be an obvious choice for speaker at an institution that claims to be the oldest historically black college in the nation. ''Our great universities don't hide from controversy. They understand they have an obligation to challenge students. They have an obligation to challenge politically correct dogma and ideas,'' Santorum said, according to the paper.

Part of Santorum's speech encouraged students to rebel against today's self-centered culture that says ''if it feels good, do it.'' Instead, he said, the motto should be ''if it's good for others, do it.''

The quiet protest turned to a chorus of boos and jeers at several points, particularly when Santorum focused on family values and the percentage of black children born out of wedlock, the paper reported. (AP)

Copyright (c) 2004, The Morning Call

Dear AFIDC:

Thanks for sharing, A Friend in D.C. Oh, and while we're on the subject of friends in Washington...

Spreadingsantorum.com has lots and lots of friends in D.C., truth be told. The nice kids at extraugly.com sell an awful lot of santorum t-shirts to people with D.C. addresses -- including addresses on the Hill, particularly at the Senate office building.

Just thought I should point out that, while your site is the first thing to come up when someone runs a Google search for santorum, the senator's home page is still the first thing to come up on a search for rick santorum. Maybe people should start working on that now.

Computer Lit

Dear CL:

Thanks for sharing, C.L. Spreadingsantorum.com is currently the second thing that comes up when you search "Rick Santorum," and that is simply unacceptable. So let's get to work people: Google "Rick Santorum," then click on this webpage. Let's get on top of Rick Santorum -- it's where we belong!

You said you didn't get it. The picture is a magic card that shows what powers the santorum creature has. Magic is that dorky card game that lots of people play. My college roommate used to play it.

Noah M.

P.S. This is best website. Thank you for doing this.

Deah NM:

Ah, thanks for clueing me in. I missed out on lots of dorky stuff at college because I was too busy taking drugs and having sex. Them's the breaks.

Dear Dan,

Was I ever (pleasantly) surprised to see my Santorum magic card on the SpreadingSantorum page! I had just mentioned it to a friend, too, so I had a little twilight zone moment for a second. Anyway, the card is based on the popular game Magic: The Gathering, and half the fun of Magic is creating new cards that mock real world people/events etc, but still use the same terminology and wording as actual cards. The Fark photoshop competition was to make one of a politician, and I figured, why not our beloved Rick Santorum?

Dan

Nice job on the card...

In other santorum-related news... check back later in the week. At long last, and after many delays, the Santorum-is-asked-about-santorum video goes live on spreadingsantorum.com, along with a letter from Santorum's office about santorum. It's a banner week for us, so please remember to surf back in on Friday!

May 10, 2004

I take exception to mk eagle' s letter. Dan, you made it into the Ivy League a long time ago...

Once upon a time (I believe it was late August) you published a letter in Savage Love from a "Doctoral Student of communication at an Ivy League University" who URGED you "not to let Santorum fade." History (and Google) tells the tale of how successful that advice was.

Dan, I am that selfsame doctoral student, and I say "Great Job." Santorum has spread to the four corners of the globe. And as a Philadelphia resident, and constituent of the senator, I can say that it has done nothing to improve his image here at home. I've even garnered some personal fame. When I met Henry Rollins this past winter (he's a friend of a friend), he recognized me at "Santorum Peef". Odd times.

Dan, don't let the magic stop. You've managed not only to change the language, but you've inched public opinion ever so slightly in a better direction. Together, we CAN paint this town brown.

Philly Peef

Dear PP:

Thanks for keeping in touch and I'm sure everyone who reads spreadingsantorum.com regularly would, if they could, thank you personally for inspiring first the Santorum/santorum contest and, consequenly, this website.

Give my regards to Mr. Rollins.

This article was sent to you from: A friend in D.C.

Santorum Jeered at Graduation

May 10, 2004

THORNBURY | U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum was greeted with boos, jeers and turned backs Saturday while giving a commencement speech at Cheyney University, an historically black college, a newspaper reported.

''I know my selection as commencement speaker was not met with unanimous approval,'' Santorum said, according to the Daily Local News of West Chester.

While most of the master's degree candidates remained seated during Santorum's speech, more than half of the graduating undergraduates stood and faced away from the senator in silent protest, the paper reported. A scattering of audience members also joined the protest.

Santorum admitted that a conservative Republican might not be an obvious choice for speaker at an institution that claims to be the oldest historically black college in the nation. ''Our great universities don't hide from controversy. They understand they have an obligation to challenge students. They have an obligation to challenge politically correct dogma and ideas,'' Santorum said, according to the paper.

Part of Santorum's speech encouraged students to rebel against today's self-centered culture that says ''if it feels good, do it.'' Instead, he said, the motto should be ''if it's good for others, do it.''

The quiet protest turned to a chorus of boos and jeers at several points, particularly when Santorum focused on family values and the percentage of black children born out of wedlock, the paper reported. (AP)

Copyright (c) 2004, The Morning Call

Dear AFIDC:

Thanks for sharing, A Friend in D.C. Oh, and while we're on the subject of friends in Washington...

Spreadingsantorum.com has lots and lots of friends in D.C., truth be told. The nice kids at extraugly.com sell an awful lot of santorum t-shirts to people with D.C. addresses -- including addresses on the Hill, particularly at the Senate office building.

Just thought I should point out that, while your site is the first thing to come up when someone runs a Google search for santorum, the senator's home page is still the first thing to come up on a search for rick santorum. Maybe people should start working on that now.

Computer Lit

Dear CL:

Thanks for sharing, C.L. Spreadingsantorum.com is currently the second thing that comes up when you search "Rick Santorum," and that is simply unacceptable. So let's get to work people: Google "Rick Santorum," then click on this webpage. Let's get on top of Rick Santorum -- it's where we belong!

You said you didn't get it. The picture is a magic card that shows what powers the santorum creature has. Magic is that dorky card game that lots of people play. My college roommate used to play it.

Noah M.

P.S. This is best website. Thank you for doing this.

Deah NM:

Ah, thanks for clueing me in. I missed out on lots of dorky stuff at college because I was too busy taking drugs and having sex. Them's the breaks.

Dear Dan,

Was I ever (pleasantly) surprised to see my Santorum magic card on the SpreadingSantorum page! I had just mentioned it to a friend, too, so I had a little twilight zone moment for a second. Anyway, the card is based on the popular game Magic: The Gathering, and half the fun of Magic is creating new cards that mock real world people/events etc, but still use the same terminology and wording as actual cards. The Fark photoshop competition was to make one of a politician, and I figured, why not our beloved Rick Santorum?

Dan

Nice job on the card...

In other santorum-related news... check back later in the week. At long last, and after many delays, the Santorum-is-asked-about-santorum video goes live on spreadingsantorum.com, along with a letter from Santorum's office about santorum. It's a banner week for us, so please remember to surf back in on Friday!

May 04, 2004


Dan, I found this on a Photoshop contest on Fark.com. I thought You'd like it. Joe Philadelphia

santorummagic.jpg

Thanks, Joe... I like it. I don't get it, but I like it...