March 24, 2004

There's nothing I hate more than the phrase "somebody should." So I'm starting an organization to encourage hetero couples to add Freedom to Marry donations to their wedding registries. I want to talk with other people around the U.S. who are interested in doing the same thing. I've set up an e-mail address,, and I will add interested people who contact me to a Yahoo! group so we can share ideas and build a grassroots movement together. You could help by posting the address in your next Savage Love column or on the Spreading Santorum site (or both). I know you promised the next column would be all about pussy farts, but what's the occasional white lie in an election year?

Thank you,

Suzanne B. Anthony

March 23, 2004

Dear Dan,

As I understand it, Google is supposed to be a "smart" search engine because it records which result people click first as a result of search. I applaud the fact that your site is again currently No. 1 on Google, having seen the Senator's page first the last few times a I checked.

I would urge all fans of your page to do what I do to help keep your site the first result: I never type the name of your site into the Address box in my browser. Everytime I want to visit the page I Google "santorum" and click the link to your site. If everyone did this every time, it would do a lot to keep it at the top. Also, no matter how tempted we are to check up on the insidious Senator's latest activities, we must never go to Rick's site via Google. If it's crucial that one must go there, either go to the direct link, which is very easy to remember (hint: my senator's site is or go to and go to the pop up menu of states to Pennsylvania.)

By the way, my favorite quote using Santorum, from a straight friend of mine, is: "Yeah the [Hotel name omitted] was really nice, except for the Santorum stains on the sheets."

--Matthew, Brooklyn, NY

Thanks for the hot tip, Matthew. It's gratifying to be #1 at Google again -- thanks to all out there helping to keep this campaign alive. Oh, and coming soon... video of the Senator being asked about the new meaning of his name!

March 18, 2004

Hi Dan,

Thought you might be pleased to know that Santorum has now featured in "Roger's Profanisaurus", the Ultimate Swearing Dictionary. The profanisaurus is the "most foul mouthed dictionary ever to shame the shelves of a bookshop", has over 4000 entries, and is hysterically funny.

You can see a sample of entries in the Profanisaurus at Viz is an adult comic produced 10 times a year in the UK and each issue has updates to the Profanisaurus. I attach a scan of the definition of santorum in the March issue.

Lots of love,




Tonight's episode of Jeopardy featured a question about Senator Santorum and I can honestly say that I laughed out loud when I heard Trebek read it. Thank you for attaching the new definition to his name. I never cease to be amused!



This was the goal: Whenever and wherever his name is spoken, people laugh—they remember that there's more to Santorum than just a right-wing asshole from a swing state. Santorum is not just an asshole, people think when they hear his name or see his sour face on TV, but something that drips from them. He knows we've done this to him and it must be eating him up inside. It's a thrill, yes?

You are now the #2 result from Google, but your page rank is much higher. How is that possible? Has the good senator persuaded the search engine to bias the results? What's the word?


Dear Spot: I have no idea how that would happen—but if I'm being cheated out of my rightful #1 ranking on Google, well, I'll sue! There was a time when this website held the #1 slot on Google, then I slipped back down to #3. I figured the Senator was out there asking his supporters to link to his page in an effort to spare him the humiliation of having pop up first when unsuspecting supporters Google'd his name. But now it seems that there might be a wider plot at work here, something more insidious and unfair. I will get to the bottom of this!

Hello friends at spreadingsantorum,

Not sure if you've seen this already, but below is the link to the February edition of the Guidance Counselor advice page on, an amazing website that lists international public sex locations. The off-the-cuff mention of santorum is pretty wonderful - a true sign that it's really catching on.

Spreading santorum is a movement that's only just begun. I admire your efforts.

Sincerely, MJQ

Thanks for the heads up, MJQ. If anyone else spots santorum being used with its new meaning, in its proper context, please send me the clip or the link. The more often the word is actually used with its new meaning without any mention of me, the Senator, this website, or my campaign, the likelier it is to wind up in dictionaries. I'd like to document instances of the "new" santorum appearing in print. So if you spot one, send it my way! Thanks!

So, this has nothing to do with love/sex, unless of course one happens to have some sort of senatorial fetish (I imagine that some twisted folks might enjoy masturbating to the picture of Chuck Hagel) but I think it bears mentioning, since it casts further light onto the fuckupedness that is Sen. Rick Santorum... Go and take a look at and check out his entry. Never before have I read anything quite so bland. That letter, to me, encapsulates a sort of sterile insipid cookie-cutter mediocrity that hasn't been seen since the 1950's... So, if it provides you with some ammunition great... If not, oh well... I tried....


Thanks for sharing, DAS. Of course the Senator is dull and insipid -- anyone who walks around with his ass clenched as tightly as ol' Rick's butt is bound to be too distracted to enjoy or remember a good joke. You actually have to release muscles in your lower body when you laugh -- including some butt muscles, which is why some people cut one when they laugh. This Rick is constitutionally incapable of doing.

March 16, 2004


While I have no real experience in personally spreading santorum, I am pleased as punch that you have tied a can to the ass of the Senator from Pennsylvania. I have always enjoyed your column and generally found your sex advice and liberal rantings to be right on the mark.

I've spent a little time reading the letters on your site and can't help but shake my head at the outrage of those offended by your campaign. These appear to be the same folks who never work up a good froth at the abominations being perpetrated by Sen. Santorum and his ilk but it sure doesn't take them long to lament the future of our country if the lefties and fags and treehuggers get too much control.

One of my longtime frustrations has been that while Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and their brethren have the run of the airwaves and print media, the left doesn't have any bulldogs. Sure, we've got plenty of thoughtful, insightful, intelligent proponents but nobody who is willing to just throw down the gloves and say what we are all thinking: "Rush, W., Rick: You guys are full of shit!" It's telling and more than a bit unsettling that two of the most vocal left-wingers in the land are a sex advice columnist and a comedian most famous for his short lived appearances on Saturday Night Live.

Thanks for many a laugh and plenty of insight into our world.

Keep fighting the good fight,

Doc Ed

Dear Doc Ed.

I think Al Franken is more famous for his books -- and that idiotic lawsuit the dopes at FoxNews filed about his use of the phrase "fair and balanced" -- than he ever was for his appearances on Saturday Night Live. Also, I think there are other lefty cultural critics you neglect to give props to, from Michael Moore to Molly Ivans. Still, I'd love to join Franken on his new radio network, if the powers that be over there were thinking about a sex advice show....

I've been reading about santorum since the beginning. I am a religious reader of savage love, and I now check spreadingsantorum every day to check for new updates. I tell everyone about the new meaning of the word and I support your cause whole-heartedly. However, I do think credit needs to be given to the anonymous writer who came up with it and nominated it! I wrote you about this a few weeks ago and got no answer...As this becomes a bigger and bigger cultural phenomenon, the public needs to know who this genius is!!!


Hey, Tao: I will look up that genius and see if he's willing to have his name out there and do an interview on this website.

March 4, 2004

Dear Mr. Savage,

Imagine my surprise when I came across your site, Spreading Santorum while searching for information about Mike Savage, one of the Right's most eloquent speakers.

How dare you compare Sen. Santorum to the fluids generated by a homosexual sex act. I'm not going to allow you to get away with it. I'm going to alert my God-fearing readers to your vile website by placing links to it everywhere I've mentioned Sen. Santorum's name on my blog. That's not a small number. I write about Sen. Santorum frequently, like in this letter to Sen. Santorum, this post about how Sen. Santorum helped me bring homosexual vultures back to the Lord, this otherletter to Sen. Santorum, and this poster featuring Sen. Santorum.

I'm also going urge others in the bloggensraum to do the same. You're attack on Sen. Santorum will not go unnoticed.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

Dear JC:

One quibble: As I've pointed out numerous times already, santorum is a substance that two straight-or a horde of straight people-can make. Indeed, when you consider how many more straights there are than gays and the growing popularity of anal sex among straights (from man-on-girl to girl-on-man), you can only conclude that the vast majority of santorum is pumped out of straight butts.


March 3, 2004


I was reading the site and noticed that someone asked for a bumper sticker to spread the word. I have a shop at and I decided to supply the demand by creating a bumper sticker with your logo. If you don't like it or don't approve for whatever reason, I will be happy to take it down. I did not add anything to the basic charge so I will not make any money off of the sale of the bumper sticker. However, if you would like to raise some money for the website, I will happily change the price and donate all profits to It's up to you. Please let me know what you think.

santorum bumper sticker

Hope this is okay...if not, please let me

know as soon as possible.

Kristi Wilkins,

Avid reader of